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IBJJF Brazilian Jiu Jitsu American Nationals 2010 - KingofCrazy's Story - Part 2 - Training

So I cleaned up my diet and amped up my training.  I limited my carb intake to one serving a day.  I ate a healthy breakfast every morning of a banana, apple, and hard boiled egg.  I ate salads for lunch consisting of spinach, broccoli, tomatoes, cheese, bell peppers, and either chicken or tuna.  I made four or five of these salads on Sunday night, and they stayed fresh throughout the work week (I've found that if my diet requires any more than a minimal effort, I can never stick with it.)  For dinner after training, I drank Whole Foods ™ vanilla protein powder and water, which did not taste all that great, but I got used to it.  I stopped drinking the delicious nectar that is Fat Tire Amber Ale.  I trained four or five times a week, often for two classes, and before long I lost 15 pounds which was enough to drop me down to the Medio (Middle) weight division.  Physically, I was in really good shape, and sometimes after two hours of training, I wasn’t as tired as I thought I should be, so I did pushups and sit ups until exhaustion after class.  I was sort of like Rocky preparing to fight the Russian, only I was not training half way around the world in a rural cabin, and was competing in a completely different sport, and other minor differences that it would be pointless to go into because they do not further my narrative, which is admittedly, going down a rabbit hole.

Then I hurt my knee, which set back my cardio significantly.  Without that extra endurance, and with the weight loss, I felt like I was regressing because I couldn’t throw my flab into sweeps, and use my fat ass as an advantage.  As my knee gradually improved, I stepped up my training to the point of overtraining.  I felt even weaker, but tapered in the last week leading up to the U.S. Nationals Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournament.  Captain Caveman worked with me on takedowns on Tuesday, and when I got back home, and the adrenaline had worn off from the session, my left leg felt as though someone was stabbing a hot poker into the back of my upper calf that was radiating down to my feet and up to my hamstrings.  I don’t remember how I did it, but somehow I managed to badly pull the upper calf muscle.  I tried to train on it on Wednesday, but was simply unable due to the pain.

I consulted a Medical Doctor, iced, elevated, wrapped the leg, and chewed Advil™ like gummy bears.  (Advil™ has a candy coating that, in comparison to protein mix and water shake, tastes sublime.)  I was hovering right around my target weight, but I couldn’t train, and therefore, couldn’t eat.  I was 50-50, and hoping I hadn’t just dropped $85 for a T-shirt and Gracie Mag, and felt sort of silly starving myself for possibly no reason.

I was injured enough to head over to my local Scientology center to detox my body from thetans.  Once the thetans were removed from my system, me knee felt significantly better.  For those of you that think Scientology is a joke, I urge you to take a simple personality test.  Tom Cruise, perhaps the most successful man in America, is a Scientologist therefore it logically follows that Scientology is legit.  Now you might not agree with some of the more fantastic claims of this religion, but that lack of understanding is born of thetans, my friend, and you are better off without them.

I starved myself Thursday, Friday, and Saturday so that I could carbo-load Saturday night, and eat a good breakfast Sunday morning (Otmeal, Banana, Fist full of Advil).  On the way to California State University, Dominguez Hills, I listened to AMG’s Bitch Betta Have My Money on eleven, a song that can be questioned for its misogyny, but not for its ability to motivate my Jiu Jitsu game.

When I walked in the door, the Advil ™ had kicked in, and I didn’t feel my pulled muscle at all.  I slept well the night before, and wouldn’t have any excuses for not performing at my peak.

Next - IBJJF Brazilian Jiu Jitsu American Nationals 2010 - KingofCrazy's Story - Part 3 -"Competing"